can we cast our shadows alone in the dark?
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Wednesday, January 21, 2004 youth is wasted on the young... Been in one of those Donnie Darko moods lately... I’m not really sure why, but I’ve been doing a lot of brooding lately. I’m just mad for no apparent reason. I can’t figure it out. It must be something in the air or the water, because other people are acting weird too. I could be totally dorkish and quote that Scorpions song “Winds of Change”.. but I won’t. Some people are sad without explanation... some people are annoyed with everything but without explanation...others are just on edge without reason. I’m also quite disappointed in the way some situations have been handled lately. Yes, I may have played a hand in them, but in nearly every case, I cannot be blamed entirely. I’m not interacting with mannequins. Everyone I know (that I know of) is not a robot. No one’s parents have to wind up their children in the morning for the day to come. You are your OWN PERSON. Does this make sense to anyone or am I just talkin’ that jibba-jabba? ‘Cuz it makes sense in my mind. But on the flip side of that, as everyone is, indeed, an individual, I can’t control them. We’re not playing human chess here. In other news, The Blood Brothers’ “Cecilia and the Silhouette Saloon” and “The Shame” will change the way you think about music in general. I said the same thing about Refused’s “New Noise,” and the album from which that one came is one of my all-time favorites. It’s been a bad couple of weeks for our basketball team. At one point, we had lost 3 straight games... and they weren’t close, either. But it’s not a big deal. Contrary to the “big 3,” our season records mean nothing because we are automatically entered into the season-ending class 5A-1 divisional tournament (woo hoo! -- I think...). Every day I realize more and more how overly melodramatic high school is. I take a step back in this situation and I think, “How would I look at this 10 years from now?” and I just have to laugh. Especially in a school as small as mine. High school is its own little world, and when you’re there, nothing exists outside the world. The work to be done is merely a nuisance. Everything else is a rite of passage by the “high school code.” Gossip burns through the grapevine faster than you can say “I REALLY DIDN’T WANT THAT TO BE HEARD BY EVERY EAR IN THIS SCHOOL.” Lately I have found myself in that situation many times, where it seems something I don’t want to tell anyone is eventually made known to even the froshes. I don’t even know how it happens. People whose name I barely know will come up to me and be like “So, what’s the deal with you and..” I try not to get caught up in all of the mess and slander that is the ages of about 14 through 18 (when it’s the most intense -- middle school doesn’t count because of the massive raging hormones), but sometimes even I -- yes, I’ll admit it -- even I find myself caught right in the middle as the subject of a rumor about “the girl he likes!” A year from now I’ll re-read this and laugh. January 20 was my one-year anniversary of being separated from the Devil. Can I get a hallelujah from the congregation? In the spirit of MLK Day (which has passed, but I will ignore because I can do that0< “Free at last, free at last, thank God I am free at last.” The Menomena (I Am the Fun Blame Monster!), Songs:Ohia (Magnolia Electric Co.), Belle and Sebastian (Dear Catastrophe Waitress) and Lightning Bolt (Wonderful Rainbow) albums are all fantastic. I may just have to change my top albums of 2003. I’m beginning to think that if someone set me up on a blind date and had 3 words or less to describe me to my acquaintance, they would be “a sleepy kid.” ok. joke’s over. overthought at 10:32:35 PM by a hole in the world |
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