can we cast our shadows alone in the dark?
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Tuesday, February 10, 2004 WINNIPEG!? Pitchforkmedia.com is reporting that The Pixies reunion tour will begin in and be predominantly held in... CANADA?! Yeah, I can understand the two shows in Vancouver at the Commodore Ballroom, where (supposedly) their last shows were... But Boise? Spokane? Eugene? Where's the U.S. tour, kids? And speaking of where the U.S. tours are, are you listening The Shins? The Wrens? Cursive? Blood Brothers? At least Calexico has a collective brain and is coming to Tampa... I was reading a concert listing recently and I saw "THE KENNEDYS" - TAMPA, FL... Yet I read it as "THE DEAD KENNEDYS" and almost peed my pants. Yup. overthought at 11:30:06 PM by a hole in the world Flat tires and arrests... If you had not heard already, yours truly had a minor brush with the law today. And by minor, I mean "Could have been in handcuffs had he not played his cards correctly." Here's the full rundown. As part of my careers class at school, we were scheduled to go on a field trip to visit Clearwater Christian College and Eckerd College today... and for anyone reading this from my class right now, we've got not one, but TWO more college visits.. I checked the calendar and we have 2 more in March. Rock out! Anyway, it started off bad.. I knew it was gonna be a bad time from the very beginning when an 18-wheeler almost RAN OUR 10-PASSENGER VAN OFF THE FREAKIN' ROAD!! I wasn't paying attention, I was text messaging, and all of a sudden, I hear my teacher say "JERK!" and the van FLINGS into the right lane. From there, it was cool riding for about... 15 minutes. We get on the Suncoast Parkway, and our van starts out with a little rumble... then a tremble... then a shake... then a full-on EARTHQUAKE. (Note: all times are indeed, approximate. I have used pseudonyms so as to not find myself in any trouble again) At about 8:20 a.m., the van started shaking so much that H.A. said, "D.R., look at the back seat!" And the back seat was shaking FEROGIOUSLY. I'm talking viciousness... So H.A. says "Alex, put your seatbelt on." We were both in the way back and he started telling me a story about how, on the way back from a soccer game in 8th or 9th grade, he and H.M. were in the van, and they heard pretty much gunshots. They were all ducking down like it was a drive-by shooting, and it was the tire exploding. Well, H.A. says "Maybe we should put our seatbelts on for real..." 8:28 a.m.: BOOM!!!!! H.A. says "And that was the SAME NOISE!!!" The van almost started fish-tailing all over the parkway, but my W.D. saved us from certain death... most definitely a better driver than certain unnamed persons... (all in jest should they ever find this -- although you did almost kill us thrice, sir). So our van had shedded one of its tires... it just shredded all over the place, it was nuts. Between the time of 8:30 and 9 a.m., the following happened: *G.L.'s mom, who was on her way to St. Pete, showed up and stuck around for a while. *Motorcycle trooper J.B. Hypes pulled over to the side of the road and let us play with his radar gun (that is so wrong!!!) *AAA came and repaired our flat However, due to insurance reasons (or something), we were not permitted to leave without a spare tire. So W.D. got on the horn to the school and they sent another van on its merry little way. Thankfully we were only 1 mile north of Pasco County at milemarker/callbox 244 (we got exact measurements!). We were within walking distance of a tollbooth, so it wasn't like we were stranded on Spring Lake Highway or anything. Eventually, the motorcycle trooper left us, as well as the people from AAA. My class was really urging me on to go get the piece of tire tread that just so happened to be sitting on the shoulder of the Parkway about 300 feet away. Or at least, we thought it looked about 300 feet. Point is, D.R. and W.J. distracted W.D., while I, being the idiot that I am, made a FULL-ON, MAD DASH TO THE TIRE TREAD. I've never run that fast in basketball before. I was BOOKIN' IT down the wrong side of the parkway. I started to slow up when I thought I was in range of the tire tread, but it just so happened that the tread seemed to get FARTHER and FARTHER away as I ran. I finally got to the tread, when all of a sudden, I see red and blue flashing lights and a POLICE CRUISER PULLS IN BEHIND ME. I grab the tread and start walking back to the van and all I see is 5 of my classmates rolling on the ground, laughing. I started thinking "Oh... CRAP..." The 5-0 said to me "What are you doing?" I calmly said "Oh, just getting my tire." W.D. had ambled his way down to get the tread and didn't say a word. I don't think I've ever seen him mad before. The po-po got in his cruiser and started driving toward the van. I got back to the van and tried hiding behind my classmates. It's kinda funny -- the walk back was a lot shorter than the run to the tread. Anyway, we eventually switched vans when S.H. got there, and all was well... But oh, the delicious goodness of the J-isms on this day was scrumptious. Among the better ones: *Publisher's Chlorine House "Do you take Disabled Veteran's Money?" (tour guide) "Yes." "What about Medicare?" (tour guide) "O...kay..." "What kind of credentials do you have?" (1 million signs and giant arrows point to the Triton's Pub, an eatery within Eckerd College) "Is that Triton's Pub?" "Do you guys have laughing bubbles? Laughing giggles?" "When I was little, I had 6 skinny pigs." "What's facial hair?" (class busts out laughing) (M.J. points at his peach fuzz) "So would I have to get rid of this?" (tour guide) "Get rid of what?" (S.A.) "M.J., you can connect to the internet on your CD player, you just don't know how to." (M.J.) "Yes I do, you go to dot com dot net dot org dot!" And some keywords: *M-rang! (meringue) *Honeysuckles *Bananas Ahhh, what a beautiful thing today was... And in other news, while at the Burger King in Clearwater, I had the weirdest coincedence. I saw and talked with Ben from Kwinch! Yup, the same Kwinch that I saw live in Lutz a couple months ago.. I was like "You play in the band Kwinch, don't you?" and I struck up a conversation with him for a few seconds. I told my classmates I had seen him perform live. Then as we're leaving, M.J. says, "Is he in a band?" Ahhh, what a kid. when we were young, you were the king of carrot flowers... overthought at 8:58:51 PM by a hole in the world Nazis vs. Comcast Hint: Kelsey can't get a page to load. Kelsey (7:30:04 PM): wow it finally loaded Kelsey (7:30:18 PM): im bomb threatening comcast deficio a b e o (7:30:24 PM): lol!! deficio a b e o (7:30:29 PM): Comcast sucks deficio a b e o (7:30:30 PM): bad deficio a b e o (7:30:34 PM): even i knew that Kelsey (7:30:34 PM): or maybe ill write them a suicide note Kelsey (7:30:35 PM): no kidding deficio a b e o (7:30:39 PM): dad has Comcast, they are Nazis Kelsey (7:30:52 PM): no, i liked the nazis better than comcast deficio a b e o (7:30:59 PM): lmao Kelsey (7:31:02 PM): at least the nazis were consistant! deficio a b e o (7:31:08 PM): LOL! overthought at 7:32:32 PM by a hole in the world |
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